This is less a list of ‘goals’ and more ‘things to be mindful of’, with the goal of a happier me.

Set more realistic expectations of myself. One example of this is the to-do list I make every day. It generally says ‘To-Do Today’ and has a list of things one person could expect to do in a week. I realized this makes me feel like crap when I leave for the day because I didn’t get everything done, even if I make the highest and best use of my time all day. Changing that disappointed feeling was as simple as crossing off ‘today’ and writing ‘this week’. I’ve seen this pattern for a while and it felt good to acknowledge it. Another pattern: believing I’ve gained 20 lbs in a single week and that I’m returning to my size 12-14 self. In reality, it seems that no matter what I do it would be pretty hard to get to that point again, no matter how indulgent a weekend I’ve had. Generally, my size 8-10 clothes still fit so there’s nothing to worry about. Sure, I’m a little fatter now than I was a year or two ago, but those looser reigns allow me to stop counting every calorie and clouding my head with guilt over every bite. The goal is to to apply this realistic way of thinking to my life wherever I see a pattern that allows me to be too hard on myself. 

One-on-one. So many people to talk to, so little time. I tend to avoid gatherings because being with more than a few people at once makes me anxious. But I’m good at one-on-one’s. So, I’ll focus on the people in my life that I care about and want to know more about, and plan to see them. I’ll put it on my calendar, even. It’s often hard to squeeze in ‘dates’ in my schedule, so one idea I had for this was instead of scheduling coffee meetings to catch up with people, I’m going to try to keep running dates. It keeps us moving and it’s the best way to chat if you ask me. But don’t ask me any questions if we’re running too fast, I’ll be too out of breath to answer. 

Family first. This isn’t anything new, but at times I am frustrated and overwhelmed by the number of people I don’t recognize on my Facebook page. I halfway pay attention to all these people, but at times don’t know what’s going on with my own family. Must. Fix. Weed out excess friend list, tend to family. See also: ‘one-on-one’ rule. Go play Scrabble with Grandma, have an ice cream with Dad, call my Mom, road trip to my sisters, call my cousin. I need that.

Challenge my black-and-white thinking. I live in black and white, and I’m very stubborn. For a long time I defined myself as someone who doesn’t gamble. Then, I gambled a little bit while in Vegas this month and I realized there’s nothing wrong with that. It was fun, and I’ve spent $14 more foolishly in my life. My challenge to myself is to let go of those black and white things that I grip so tightly and let just a little moderation in. I could dance in public, have a (tiny) glass of wine, drink a Diet Coke, take a week off from running, have a baby. Heh, got you with that last one didn’t I?? This isn’t an announcement (but mayyyybe I’ll start thinking about doing that.) Mostly this is about just letting myself live in the gray areas.

Travel. Pull the trigger on some airfare. I did this over the summer and it was one of the best experiences of my life! What is almost as good as the trip itself? looking forward to the trip after it’s booked. In the German language there is a saying: “Vorfreude ist die beste Freude”. Meaning the anticipation of joy is the best joy. Couple that advice with cheaper fares and the lesson is: book it early. 

Work it out. No, not working out. I have done my share of that, and it’s been my focus for many years. This year, I focus on my professional fitness. I challenge myself with new clients and projects, take on new and potentially scary challenges, continue to understand my team, my industry, and my clients, find a niche area of expertise within my industry, and maybe even fail at a thing or two. It’s good for growing. 

Discover my city. If I’ve learned one thing from reading The Happiness Project, it’s that you need to discover and define what makes you happy, and that it might be something very simple, and it might not be the conventional things that make other people happy. I didn’t understand it before reading this book, but now I do. You know what makes me happy? My very own city. History. Art. Architecture. Antiques. Old homes. The way things were. And so, I’ve embarked on a journey to tour as many old homes, mansions, museums, breweries, gardens, and anything else I can get my hands on. 

Cheers to 2012!