People often tell me “I wish I had your determination” or “I admire your ability to stick to your decisions.” People see me as someone who has made up her mind and met her goals.

This is not entirely true. I wish it were. You see, maybe what I am good at is NOT determination, willpower, motivation, dedication. It is solely about YES or NO for me. I live by extremes. I am terrible at moderation.

Examples of my triumphs: I quit smoking many years ago. I have been sober for over a year. I trained for and ran a marathon. These are all things that I can either DO, or not do. They are Yes-or-No, black-or-white, stick-to-it decisions. There is no gray area.

What I am NOT good at is being somewhere in the middle. I have never done well on a diet. I can’t NOT eat, so I tend to overeat. I cannot have just one piece of candy. I am 100% certain that I could decide to never to eat candy again, and stick to it. But I can’t limit myself to one or two pieces.

Financially, I am a giant FAIL. I suck at having a budget because I can’t fathom spending responsibly. I either get what I want or I don’t, and in my mind that sucks. So I overspend. And I am constantly broke.

Somehow I have been able to use this extreme thinking as a positive in my life, by harnessing it to achieve major goals. However, I am going to have to retrain my brain to accept moderation if I am to enjoy continued success. Maybe I have to think of it like this: I can either live in moderation, or not. We’ll see where that gets me.